Hey Smerchettes, check out what I’ve found in the newspaper today - none other than Stephen Merchant himself! From what I’ve heard, he’s in Australia at the moment to perform his stand-up show down here, so I guess that explains why he wounded up here in the first place :) He’s guest stars in today’s Lost In Love section of the mX, answering and offering words of advice to women in this issue. Trust me, it’s worth the read.
The Office co-creator Stephen Merchant turned his trouble understanding women into a stand-up show that was turned into a DVD that is being turned into a global tour that is being turned into a sitcom. Here he turns the tables and tries to help mX Lost in Love readers understand men.
My husband is a drug addict who never spends time with me. What can I do? - Angela
"Find out what he’s addicted to and, if it’s smack, get yourself a heap. Drug addicts will go wherever drugs are, so you could leave a little trail of cocaine into the bedroom." - SM
A hot guy on the train just asked me out and then told me he was married. What should I do? - Cloe
"That’s a moral question for that lady, isn’t it? Personally, don’t get involved. It’s not going to end well. My other concern is: Are they still on the train? We need to get an answer to her quickly. She’s only got a few stops left." - SM
My boyfriend asked his friend to show him a pic of her breast implants and sent her a chocolate arrangement for her recovery. Should I worry? - Confused
"What was the deal? He called her and told her, ‘I’d love to see your new boobs.’ She said, ‘Definitely not.’ He said, ‘What about this? What if I sent you some milk chocolate?’ She went ‘All right! I’ll show you one tit for half a pound of chocolate.’" - SM
My husband suggested we both do hardcore adult modelling. I ended up having an affair with a photographer. Was it my fault? - Monique
"Is this what I am to expect of Australians? There’s people saying, ‘Can I look at your tits?’ There’s husbands saying, ‘This marriage has got a bit dull. Instead of going, like, for a romantic weekend, let’s instantly get into hardcore porn.’ Goodness me, what kind of crazy people are they?" - SM
-mX, Wednesday December 5, 2012.